š³ļøāš National Coming Out Day! š³ļøāš
- 2heartedhusky
- Oct 11, 2024
- 8 min read
^ Husky PNG-tuber model drawn by GraveyardGrowlz ^
Oh, my Time Lord! It's Coming Out Day!
For anyone who may not know, I am a proud member of the Queer community both in and out of character. I'll be diving into both, so buckle up; it's quite a ride. I'll be providing flags and definitions, and for the gender labels only, I'll also be providing personal experiences. But remember that how I experience certain genders is not universal to all members of each gender.
Allons-y!
Wibbly-wobbly, Gendery-wendery... Stuff:
Out of character, when I'm just being my lil ol' human-y self, I am transgender, and identify with a number of micro-labels under the non-binary umbrella, including enby (shorthand for non-binary) itself: genderqueer, demi-guy, trans-neutral, gender[REDACTED], celestarian, and gendercryptid. My pronouns are they and he, but mostly they.
When I'm in character as Stormy, we are simply just non-binary and/or transgender, and Stormy's pronouns are he/they. Not every non-binary person considers themselves transgender, and they're valid, but some of them do, myself (and therefore all of my enby fursonas) included.
But what do all of these labels mean? Well...
Transgender: A person whose gender identity doesnāt align with the physical sex they were assigned at birth. Our brain gender doesn't match up with our body gender. I don't really know how to explain that in a more personal sense. It's pretty straight-forward.
Non-binary: Refers to a gender identity that does not fit within the traditional binary gender constructs of male or female. It can be used as a lone identifier, or as an umbrella term.
For me, when I think of myself in traditionally binary gender terms, using words like "boy" or "girl," "man" or "woman" just isn't right. None of those things accurately describe me. I feel alien and entirely out of place within strictly male spaces or strictly female spaces. I can feel sort of like ghosts or echoes of masculine and feminine aspects, but as a whole, regarding myself as solely, strictly one or the other felt (metaphorically) like being crushed to death by a boa constrictor .
When I discovered that non-binary is a thing, I cried. I finally found my gender. I finally knew who I am and that I am not broken. I am not a boy or a girl. As the Doctor, Donna Noble, and her daughter Rose Noble, said it in Doctor Who: The Star Beast, I am "neither, and both. And more." I am non-binary. šš¤šš¤
Genderqueer: Refers to a gender that does not fit within the male/female binary, but might not identify as non-binary.
Fun History Fact (and in some small way, paying homage to the Classic Doctor Who series, which began as an educational/informational series): The flag was created in June 2011 by Marilyn Roxie in order to create visibility for the genderqueer community and related identities. The flag was originally intended to represent all non-binary and genderqueer people, but as the genderqueer community grew the flag became synonymous with "genderqueer" specifically, leaving many non-binary people to not feel represented by the flag. A non-binary flag was created in February 2014 by Kye Rowan to represent non-binary people specifically.
Demi-guy: Refers to an identity that aligns with aspects of masculinity and/or the male gender, but does not entirely identify as a man, regardless of their assigned gender at birth (hereafter called "AGAB").
I discovered that, in being enby and genderqueer, I also do relate to/identify with sort of the essence of masculinity, or a masc-leaning energy. I like to describe my personal demi-guy experience as "male-adjacent," so to speak. Sort of next to or aligned with the male gender, or like I'm dipping my toes into a pool or lake to test the temperature but never fully submersing myself into it.
Trans-neutral: A term used to describe a transgender individual who identifies fully or partially as a neutral, a-binary, or any unaligned gender. It can also be considered an umbrella term for individuals who transition to a neutral identity. (For me, it's the latter.)
Trans-neutral is not synonymous with being non-binary, as not all non-binary genders are neutral-aligned or neutral in nature, and not all non-binary individuals identify as transgender.
Gender[REDACTED]: An identity that may feel like you once had a gender, but it has since been removed or deleted. If fitting, you could also pair this with another term to signify which gender has been deleted, such as [REDACTED]boy, or [REDACTED]girl. So, for example, a [REDACTED]boy was once a boy, but rather than being solely agender or similar, they still believe that past connection to manhood is an important part of their gender, even though it is now missing. Or you could be just solely [REDACTED] when it doesnāt matter what your past gender was!
Honestly, there's not much for me to add here, because I experience it pretty much how the Tumblr definition describes it. I had a binary gender once, but it has since been omitted. It's simply not there anymore. And whatever it was Then is of little importance Now. Ergo, [REDACTED].
Celestarian: A gender within the CGS (celestial gender system) that is a combination of juparian, lunettian, and mercurian. Someone who is celestarian can be fluid between all three/feel different amounts of each at different times.
Juparian: A nonbinary gender that is linked to softer celestial masculine energy. It is never hyper masculine and itās not male-aligned nonbinary, but instead is simply linked. Someone who is juparian can feel different amounts of masculine energy at different times.
Lunettian: A nonbinary gender that is linked to softer celestial feminine energy. It is never hyper feminine and itās not female-aligned nonbinary, but instead is simply linked. Someone who is lunettian can feel different amounts of feminine energy at different times.
Mercurian: A nonbinary gender that is connected to a softer celestial energy. This energy can feel āgenderedā, but is neither masculine or feminine. Someone who is Mercurian can also be āvoidā of gender itself.
The Celestial Gender System, by the way, is a MOGAI (Marginalized Orientations, Gender Alignments, and Intersex) gender system, in which all the genders identify with a "soft, celestial energy." Some are related to planets, while others are related to stars, the void, etc. No CGS genders are strictly aligned to masculinity or femininity, but can be linked to them.
Because I am pagan, I feel/believe in an interconnectedness with nature and with the cosmos (stars, planets, and other celestial bodies). My faith also states that these things are simultaneously neither male nor female, and both, while also being (and not being) androgynous/non-binary. They are all genders and no gender. They transcend traditional human gender concepts. They simply Are. And since we are connected by our soul energy, our core, our spirit, our life essence, whatever you wanna call it, then as are they, so am I. They, and my connection to them, are central to my being, formative to who I am. I am the stars and the planets, and they are me. We are Celestial.
Gendercryptid: A gender that feels cryptic, paranormal, unexplainable, dark, or hidden. Can get more intense based on weather, mood, or time of day.
Term coined and flag made by Pride-is-Lovely on Tumblr.
Again pulling from my pagan faith, but rather than focusing Up, instead this comes from Down and Around. The earth around us and beneath us, rather than the skies. I find a lot of beauty and power in the darker aspects and forces of nature. You could say I feel a certain kinship to it. The mysterious, the paranormal, the hidden. It's why I've always had a fascination with cryptids and with the Other Side, why it's one of my dreams to be a professional paranormal investigator/ghost hunter someday.
And I call upon these darker parts of nature in my witchcraft a lot (but don't mistake this to mean I practice dark magick, because I don't. "What goes around comes around" is 100% a thing in witchcraft, and I'd rather not FAFO with the Karmic Rule). So these facets of nature feel intertwined with my place in the world and with the core of my magick/craft. My energy recognizes itself in the darker, mysterious, paranormal energies of nature, and vice versa. And so, that is how/why I identify as gendercryptid.
Romantic and Sexual Orientations:
When I'm out of character, I'm omni-romantic and myrsexual.
In character as Stormy, we're just omnisexual. Here's what all that means:
Omni-romantic / Omnisexual: The attraction to people of all genders, where gender does have an influence on attraction. This could manifest as a preference of certain genders or sexes over others, or a recognition that the attraction feels differently depending on the gender or sex. Some omnisexual or omni-romantic people may be more attracted to certain genders, but that is not always the case.
(It differs from pansexuality and panromanticism because for pan attraction, gender has no influence whatsoever, and it can be generalized as "liking every gender equally." I spent so many years thinking I was pan before finding the definition for omni.)
Myrsexual: A sexuality on the asexual spectrum (asexual = feeling little to no sexual attraction) in which one experiences multiple ace-spec identities. These identities could rapidly fluctuate or they could be experienced at the same time.
So what are mine, exactly? Ace-spike, grey-ace, flux-aegosexual, agensexual, stresexual, and destresexual.
Ace-spike: An orientation on the asexual spectrum defined as someone who usually feels no sexual attraction, but occasionally has rare, sudden, and intense spikes of sexual attraction for a short amount of time, before returning, just as suddenly, to one's normal amounts of asexuality.
Grey-ace: Refers to people who experience limited sexual attraction. In other words, they experience sexual attraction very rarely or with very low intensity. Typically called the "grey area" between asexual and allosexual (does feel sexual attraction; this label applies to most people, though it's not typically used as much/as a specific identifier like gay or straight or ace).
Flux-aegosexual: A microlabel on the asexual spectrum in which one's feelings on the idea of a sexual relationship or sexual concepts varies. When engaging in sexual fantasies or sexual media, they are generally aegosexual, meaning have a disconnect between the sexual aspects and themselves. An aegosexualflux individual could enjoy sexual media or fantasies some days, be indifferent to sexual media or fantasies other days, and be disgusted or annoyed by it other days. Flux-aego individuals generally experience little to no sexual attraction.
Agensexual: Formerly called "vapubsexual," agen is a sexuality on the asexual spectrum referring to individuals who are sexually repulsed by genitalia. A genitalia repulsed asexual may also be repulsed by the act of intercourse itself, but they do not necessarily have to be.
Vapubsexual was coined by Tumblr user aceoffvh on July 23rd of 2016. Agensexual was coined by Tumblr user istjgothictoy on February 11th of 2017.
Stresexual: A microlabel on the ace spectrum wherein someone's sexual attraction is affected or limited by mental health or trauma. They might feel as though their trauma, recovery, mental disorders, disabilities, or any other health-impacting condition limits their ability to experience attraction, or otherwise impacts how they experience attraction.
It is similar to caedsexual and destresexual, however it is not limited to sexual trauma survivors and individuals with PTSD, and is instead open to anyone who feels as though any aspect of their mental health affects and limits their attraction.
Destresexual: Someone who has experienced trauma and only experiences sexual attraction when not triggered. On the asexual spectrum.*
*Please do not take this to mean asexuality is always and only caused by trauma, because that's not the case. It may be a factor for some people, myself included, and we are entirely valid and will always have a place in the ace community, but it's not true of all aces. And trauma being a factor does not necessarily equate to the sole reason why someone is asexual.
Destresexual is also not the same as caedsexual, wherein the person may have been or suspects they were allosexual but trauma has since stolen that from them and left them asexual as a result. I'm not caed, since I've never felt allo. I was always ace, but I feel as though my trauma amplified/cemented it.
So, there you have it! That's my rainbow š³ļøāš.
If it's not safe for you to come out publicly, or in your personal social circles, you are still valid and cherished, and your voice and your life still matter. All 2HeartedHusky socials will always be a safe space for you. I love you šš.
^ Art drawn by SelkieMoon ^
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